Chapter 3
In the evening, the Count returned to the house after finishing his schedule. Because he accepted dinner invitations almost every single day, he always came home late.
Reeking of alcohol, the Count summoned Jisen to his study. Even after the servant delivered the summons, Jisen waited a good while before taking her time to head over.
The Count flew into a rage the moment he saw her. Jisen wanted to plug her nose. Even at a distance, the stench of liquor was overwhelming.
“I don’t know what’s made you go mad all of a sudden, but…!”
His voice was sharp and threatening, echoing loud enough to shake the ceiling. Holding a birch rod that split into multiple lashes from the handle, the Count stepped closer to Jisen.
“I assume you know what you did wrong?”
“No. I don’t. Did I do something wrong? And stop shouting!”
“You stupid wench, how dare you talk back! Do you want to be beaten to death?!”
In the past, Jisen would have lowered her head, lifted her skirt to her knees, and taken the caning. Subjected to the Count’s sadistic taunts and cruel demeanor, she used to wonder if she truly was stupid and deserved the beatings.
But now, no matter what he did, she stood tall and looked him straight in the eye without flinching.
Count Burnett’s face twisted, his breath coming in rough huffs. Then he began swinging the birch stick with all his strength.
“Aaaagh!”
Jisen ran with all her might as well. She ducked behind a chair, then darted all around the study to evade him.
The switch grazed her arms and hands. Then he grabbed her arm outright and began lashing her back. Through her clothes, her skin swelled and split open.
Jisen fought back until the very end. Outmatched in brute strength, she took plenty of blows, but she refused to yield. She pinched the Count’s hands and screamed at the top of her lungs.
It was an unexpected brawl. As the alcohol took hold and exertion wore him down, the Count’s breathing grew increasingly labored. Finally, he halted and doubled over to catch his breath. Panting heavily, he stared at Jisen in dumbfounded shock.
Has she really gone mad? That won’t do.
The Count hollered to his servant.
“Get her out of my sight! Lock her up immediately!”
“No!”
“RIGHT NOW!”
Aside from the moment she died in her past life, this was the first time the Count had been so utterly incapable of controlling his rage. Had it been a similar situation, he might have brandished a sword again, but for now, Jisen was still of great utility to him. So while he might take out his anger on her, locking her in her room was as far as it went. Knowing this allowed her to act as she pleased with far less fear.
Undaunted in the slightest, Jisen turned on her heel and strode out of the study. Every spot where she had been hit throbbed painfully. Her heart beat as though it might burst, not from fear, but from the sheer excitement of it all.
“I hope he dies of a rage-induced fit.”
Jisen uttered the words with complete tranquility. By the time she returned to her room, she was in a surprisingly good mood. The Count’s fits of fury were a daily occurrence, so familiar they barely registered anymore.
If anything had changed, it was their attitudes. Both the Count’s and her own. The one who was furious now was him, not her. Mental torment was often far worse than physical pain, so even though her body hurt, she was fine as long as she was free from that suffocating terror.
“Everyone dies eventually anyway.”
Saying this as if to console herself, Jisen tried to inspect her back in the mirror before giving up. She hated seeing her own reflection. Perhaps it was better for her own sake not to look at the wounds.
Sitting at the table, Jisen opened her notebook and scribbled down a couple of lines:
V Run away when getting beaten
V Infuriate the Count
Could she consider these accomplished? She pondered for a moment, but her mind didn’t dwell on it. Once she was dead, such worries would be meaningless anyway. Right now, she just wanted to savor the simple satisfaction of having achieved something.
Jisen closed the notebook and collapsed onto the bed on her stomach. Unable to lie flat on her back due to the pain, she closed her eyes and let the crushing wave of exhaustion pull her under.
* * *
Her mind felt clear, but her body was another story. Having been beaten so severely, she tossed and turned, waking up again and again, and even when awake, she had to stay flat on her stomach. Her neck and back were completely stiff and sore.
Since the Count had ordered her locked up again, she obviously couldn’t attend breakfast.
How much time had passed? A loud metallic click rattled from the direction of the door. Had the Count come all the way here to rage at her again? Just as she sat up, an unexpected sound followed.
Knock, knock—
It was unmistakably a knock. Jisen widened her eyes and tilted her head. The sound came once more.
Knock, knock, knock—
“Come in,” Jisen answered.
Only then did the door open. Susan quickly slipped inside and shut the door behind her.
“Why knock?”
“Because it’s your room, Miss.”
No one had ever opened the door to this room so respectfully before. Susan’s knock was an act of genuine deference. Jisen felt a sudden surge of emotion that flushed her face, but she put on a calm front to greet Susan.
“You came back quickly.”
“I was too nervous to keep holding onto it.”
Susan rummaged through her skirt pocket. She pulled out a heavy pouch along with a hastily acquired newspaper and handed them to Jisen. Susan had accepted her proposal and come back with her answer. The corners of Jisen’s lips quivered faintly.
Jisen set the newspaper on top of her notebook and toyed with the money pouch in her hands.
“You didn’t touch it, right?”
“It’s exactly as I found it.”
A blue light. Jisen smiled.
This was the money another maid was supposed to discover later while cleaning when she accidentally broke some of the pottery. The Count’s money that Susan would be framed for stealing. Hatton was the one who had stolen it, hiding it among Susan’s belongings to frame her as a thief and drive her out.
Jisen had instructed Susan to retrieve the money specifically to prevent that future ordeal. And for reasons she couldn’t quite name, she wanted to settle this matter before anything else.
“It should be five hundred and eighty rabil. If even a single coin is missing, I can’t give you a penny.”
Susan pouted slightly. Though she had done nothing wrong, the anxiety made her swallow hard. If the amount fell short, she might end up regretting not just quietly keeping it. But if she had ignored Jisen’s offer and taken the money for herself, her conscience would have tormented her for as long as she worked at Burnett Manor.
Jisen counted every coin and nodded. It was the exact sum she knew it to be.
“Spot on.”
Susan, who had been holding her breath in suspense, let out a sigh of relief. Jisen handed the money straight back to her.
“Pocket money for you, Susan.”
“You’re giving this to me? All of it?”
“Consider it payment for helping me. I’ll make sure you get much more later.”
With her mouth agape, Susan stared at the sum, far exceeding a full month’s wage, before snatching it up and stuffing it into her pocket. Then, casting a wary glance toward the door, she pulled a small tin out from her apron.
“Let me apply some salve for you.”
It was ointment for wounds. Susan helped Jisen out of her shift, grimacing the moment she saw Jisen’s back and shoulders split open in raw, jagged welts. The skin was swollen red, dotted with patches of dried blood.
Susan first wetted a towel with water and gently wiped down Jisen’s back. The touch stung and throbbed against her raw skin, but though Jisen flinched, she held back her groans and bore it silently.
“Doesn’t that hurt?”
“Of course it hurts.”
“Why does the Count hate you so much, Miss?”
“I wonder that myself. What could he possibly hate about me so much?”
Being cared for was a foreign feeling to Jisen. As Susan’s hands moved with cautious kindness, Jisen bit her lower lip and remained still. Massaging the salve gently over the wounds, Susan asked,
“Did something happen?”
“Like what?”
“Well, Miss… You’ve been in this room the entire time, and nothing out of the ordinary happened in the house, yet… Now you’ve suddenly changed. The servants are even whispering that you’ve finally lost your mind.”
The reason for her erratic behavior.
Truth be told, Jisen hadn’t changed the instant she returned to this point in time. While her strange behavior had begun yesterday, she had actually come to her senses two days ago.
On the first day, unable to accept reality, Jisen had spent the hours in a daze, wondering what she ought to do. Then a thought struck her. What point was there in living through this life a second time? Since this surreal reality felt like a dream anyway, she decided she might as well do whatever she pleased, and that became the spark.
“I dreamed that I lived like this until the day I died.”
Hearing Jisen smile as she said such a dreadful thing, Susan felt a renewed sense of unfamiliarity. Jisen was already no longer the young lady she used to know, but to see someone trapped in her bedroom, somehow looking so inexplicably distant, still felt bizarre.
“What exactly should I help you with from now on? I need to at least know what I’m getting into.”
“I need someone on my side. I have no one. And as far as I could tell, you were the best choice.”
“…”
“Keep me informed and stay by my side. But if things ever become too dangerous, run away. Don’t let yourself get hurt.”
“…We’ll see,” Susan replied listlessly.
Any thought of refusal had vanished long ago. Her stirring heart aside, the heavy weight in her pocket certainly helped.
Susan ultimately had to admit that she was powerfully drawn to this changed young mistress. To think a proposal that bordered on blackmail could stir her heart like this… Though their situations were vastly different, a pang went through Susan as she recalled her younger days, wandering alone in search of work.
Susan retrieved a clean dress from the wardrobe and helped Jisen into it. Though made of the same fabric, it felt noticeably warmer.
“You’ll need to stay on your stomach for a while.”
“I’ll be counting on you to keep applying the ointment.”
“I’d rather there be no reason to apply it at all…”
“I doubt that’s possible while living here. I’m going to keep shouting at the Count and driving him up the wall.”
“Why go out of your way to… Well, I suppose you have your reasons, Miss. Right…”
Susan pulled yet another item from her pocket. An apple wrapped neatly in paper. Jisen let out a quick laugh at the sight.
“Is there anything that pocket of yours doesn’t hold?”
“An apple was all I could sneak away with today. I’ll bring whatever else I can in the future. After all, Miss, you’re barely allowed to eat.”
Susan felt pity for Jisen, whose punishment from yesterday had carried over, leaving her without even breakfast. To savagely whip and starve a girl who was already skin and bones… Everyone at Burnett Manor knew the Count took in children purely out of necessity, but did he give no thought to what would happen if she died from this treatment?
Observing Susan’s gloomy expression, Jisen was reminded of her own reality. A Saint candidate. That was the sole reason the Count had adopted a child he felt not an ounce of affection for.
Jisen unfolded the newspaper and began reading. The atmosphere surrounding the Second Prince’s birthday banquet, suspicious fog gathering near the border, the birth of a daughter to the marquis and his wife… Among the various reports, one headline caught her eye.
[The Impending Return of Duke Spear’s Expedition]
Jisen read the article carefully.
[Duke Spear and His Knights Returning Safely]
[Reasons and Achievements of the Prolonged Expedition to Be Revealed Upon Arrival]
[The Return of the Handsome, Unmarried Duke: How Will It Ripple Through High Society?]
So this was when Dieren returned.
In her past life, she hadn’t been able to see him in person when he returned to the capital, but she remembered the massive uproar. Everyone talked about Dieren so endlessly that even Jisen, trapped inside the house, had wondered what he looked like.
When Jisen finally met Dieren later on, he had seemed thoroughly drained by boredom. She remembered him looking at people with hollow eyes, as if nothing mattered anymore. After all, he had once told her that their eyes shared that exact same look.
Below the front-page articles were snippets about trending accessories, popular dresses, opinion columns, and advertisements for knightly orders and salons. After scanning the rest, Jisen folded the paper. Her thoughts were consumed by Dieren.
Her final memory of Dieren was nothing more than his tormented voice crying out her name. It was by no means a fond memory to look back on.
I need to go see him.
She resolved to catch a glimpse of him in person, even if only from a distance, when the chance arose. Back then, she had always been on the receiving end of Dieren’s devotions and confessions. This time, she wanted to be the one to seek him out first.
In her previous life, Jisen had never set foot outside of her own free will. If she wanted to meet Dieren, it was time she stepped past those doors herself.
Though she felt nervous, Jisen deliberately forced a cheerful tone as she spoke to Susan.
“I’m going outside in two days.”
“Pardon?!”
“I want to see the Duke’s expedition team. Everyone says he’s handsome.”
An outing for the young mistress was a monumental event. One that had practically never happened before. It meant reporting the schedule in advance to Hatton, the chamberlain, and securing his approval. A reality that pressed heavily on Susan’s shoulders. Truly, no kindness came without a price. Yet her ankle was already firmly caught in the trap Jisen had laid. She pressed a hand against her forehead.
What if Hatton doesn’t give permission? Should I claim I’ll go by myself?
Susan pressed her lips tight, her mind drifting to the quiet west entrance where people rarely passed through.