Chapter 10

　　As I eyed him warily, Junghyun let out a soft laugh and added, "I want an older brother like you, too. My family isn’t exactly normal."

　　Whew. That was close. For a second, I thought I was about to get hit with the tragic monologue of a pitiful top, but he was just venting about his lot in life. Yeah, if I were the illegitimate kid of some wealthy family, I’d probably feel the same way. Feeling a twinge of sympathy, I offered him some genuine advice.

　　"Everyone’s got their own baggage. Don’t overthink it. Just focus on today. Live for today, and let tomorrow’s problems wait for tomorrow."

　　The day my parents died. The day my boss scammed me out of my part-time wages. The day I got into a fight with an awful customer and was unfairly fired.

　　On those impossibly hard days, I would go to the small neighborhood bakery, buy two cheap red bean buns, and bring them home to Seongjae.

　　Watching my little brother happily stuff his face with those buns was the only comfort that got me through. After engraving that image into my mind, I would tell myself the same thing, over and over again:

　　I made it through today.

　　I never forced myself to think about tomorrow. It was hard enough just scraping by to eat for a single day. And after Seongjae died in the real world, I lived even more immersed in that survival mindset. I’d read the latest chapter of a web novel and dump tomorrow’s problems onto tomorrow’s me.

　　Because even if you were alive today, you could get hit by a car and die tomorrow.

　　It sounded like I was trying to comfort Junghyun, but in truth, I was repeating the mantra for myself. Yeah. Stop obsessing over when you’ll wake up.

　　I could wake up tomorrow, or I could wake up a minute from now. That meant I needed to savor this moment. While Seongjae was alive and breathing in front of me, I needed to melt into this life and fully blend into the dream.

　　I fell asleep with that thought every single night, soothing my lingering anxiety by forcing my eyes shut.

　　Living today is enough.

　　Junghyun, who had been listening in silence, gave a small smile. "Even with your memories gone, you’re exactly the same. You used to tell me that back then, too."

　　"I did?"

　　Well, it wasn’t like my core personality would change just because I was in a dream. Suddenly, a wave of curiosity hit me. Even if dream-me lived a slightly more comfortable life, our two worlds were still drastically different. How the hell did I become best friends with Lee Junghyun?

　　"How old were we when we became friends?"

　　"Twelve. We met at a playground."

　　"But we grew up in completely different neighborhoods. How did we even cross paths?"

　　"I ran away from home," he explained. "You bought me red bean buns and let me sleep over at your place. For a whole week."

　　Wait. Hiding a twelve-year-old in my room for a week? Isn’t that basically kidnapping? And my parents would have still been alive back then. They just let that slide?

　　Catching my bewildered expression, Junghyun snickered. "Obviously, you hid me from your parents. Eventually, you got caught and I got sent back home. After that, I’d sneak out and come hang out with you all the time."

　　We went back way further than I’d expected. If I hadn’t already investigated his fridge, I would have been freaking out right now. A rich kid you rescued when he ran away from home? That was a textbook top-and-bottom salvation trope.

　　But Lee Junghyun can’t be a top.

　　There were plenty of subgenres, sure, but if Junghyun were a top, he’d be the "wealthy heir" top. And unless he was a "struggling poor" top living in a dingy studio apartment with cheap yellow linoleum floors, a rich top would absolutely never keep smelly kimchi in his fridge.

　　Those guys ate organic salads and imported steaks for all three meals. They were born with refined, Western palates. Totally incompatible with a guy like me.

　　With that in mind, Junghyun was exactly the kind of unpretentious guy who deserved the title of my best friend. Remembering that unapologetic, kimchi-reeking fridge—yeah, we were definitely bros.

　　"You’re my only friend," Junghyun said softly. "I don’t want to lose you."

　　Because I knew he was straight, I could just let a line like that slide. Now that I’d fully accepted him as my platonic best friend, it was time to gather some useful intel.

　　"Hey, Junghyun, how exactly did you get into YU?"

　　"What’s this? Are you looking down on me now that you’re a HU student?" Junghyun smiled, shooting me a playful side-eye.

　　I waved my hands frantically to clear the air. "No, it’s not like that at all! I want to transfer to YU."

　　"Why? HU is better."

　　"Because I want to change my major. I don’t want to do Korean Language Education anymore—I want a totally different department. Business! Yeah, I want to study business, but KU’s business program is way more competitive than YU’s. So I figured I’d aim for YU instead."

　　I had to admit, it was a flawless excuse. I’d scraped that factoid off some academic blogs while researching transfers, and it was coming in surprisingly handy.

　　"I guess that makes sense," he said. "Are you planning on taking the college entrance exam again?"

　　"Yeah. I was actually thinking of formally withdrawing from HU first—"

　　Junghyun looked startled and quickly interrupted me. "What? No, just stay enrolled while you study. Don’t withdraw yet—you can drop out after you get your acceptance letter from YU."

　　It’s because I want to get the hell out of that gay-ass college as fast as humanly possible. Did he have any idea what it felt like to turn a corner and stumble into two dudes panting all over each other in broad daylight?

　　But if I said that out loud, he’d think I belonged in a psych ward. Instead, I forced an awkward laugh and brushed it off.

　　"Right? Maybe I should think about it some more."

　　"Or why don’t you just knock out your military service first?" Junghyun suggested. "I’ve heard a lot of guys study for the entrance exam while they’re serving."

　　"What?"

　　I stared at him, absolutely dumbfounded. What? The military? What the hell was he talking about?

　　I had already completed my full mandatory service! I’d been honorably discharged as a sergeant from the Thirty-Fourth Infantry Division. And now he was telling me to go again? Dream or no dream, that was crossing a line.

　　"…Actually, I have another plan."

　　I definitely do now.

　　"I’m going to study abroad in the US."

　　Go to the military twice? Absolutely fucking not. Why the hell would my own subconscious invent a dream where I get drafted again?!

　　"And I’m going to marry an American citizen."

　　That was the ticket. I’d meet a nice American woman over there and make a mad dash for the altar. There was no way I was going back to boot camp. And I’d take Seongjae with me. I wasn’t about to let my fragile little brother get ground down in the army.

　　Besides, Seongjae was gay. If anyone found out while he was serving…

　　When I was a private, one of the recruits in my intake was suspected of being gay. Mostly because he was short and a little pretty, a nasty rumor started circulating, and the senior soldiers bullied him mercilessly. I ended up dropping an anonymous note in the military grievance box, and he was transferred to a different unit. But I still remembered what he told me the night before he left.

　　"I hate gay bastards more than anyone else in the world. But being treated like I was one… it was worse than hell."

　　The guy they’d treated like a pariah had actually been the biggest homophobe in our entire unit. I’d lost touch with him after the transfer, so I had no idea how he was doing now, but the memory stuck. I refused to toss Seongjae into a barracks crawling with aggressive meatheads.

　　Plus, with the massive inheritance my dream-parents left me, why wouldn’t I be able to afford studying abroad?

　　At my sudden declaration, Junghyun’s expression filled with confusion. "The US? Out of nowhere? Did you suddenly develop an interest in the Ivy League?"

　　"Yeah. Getting into an Ivy League school has always been my dream."

　　In reality, the extent of my English vocabulary was "Hello, nice to meet you. And you?" but since this was a dream, I figured it would work itself out somehow.

　　"Then this is perfect," Junghyun said. "I’m actually getting ready to study abroad, too. We can prepare together."

　　"Huh? You too? Since when?"

　　"Not that long." Junghyun’s eyes curved into a warm crescent as he added that it wasn’t some lifelong plan. "Still, it’s always been a dream of mine to move to the US and get married."

　　"Oh. Were you planning to marry an American citizen for a green card, too?"

　　"No. I’m going to marry a Korean."

　　I never would have guessed, but was he slightly racist? I looked at him in a whole new light. While I squinted, internally reassessing the true nature of Lee Junghyun, he took a slow sip of wine and murmured,

　　"I suppose that means I need to secure US citizenship first."

　　"You just said you were marrying a Korean."

　　"They don’t have to be a citizen. As long as I become one, my spouse can get a green card, too."

　　See? He was a decent guy. He wasn’t planning on using anyone for a visa. I felt a fleeting pang of shame for plotting to marry an American woman solely to dodge the draft.

　　But I really didn’t want to do military service twice.

　　Just then, the doorbell chimed. Seongjae! I shot up and practically sprinted to the intercom. On the screen, my little brother stood with a deeply displeased scowl, his weight shifted onto one leg.

　　"Seongjae’s here!"

　　Excited, I spun around—only to pause. For some reason, Junghyun’s expression looked strangely cold. What was that about? But the moment our eyes met, his features softened into a gentle smile.

　　Must have been my imagination.

　　"I’ll get the door. Hang on a sec." Junghyun pressed the intercom button, and the front door automatically unlocked.

　　Seongjae trudged inside, his aura as dark as a storm cloud.

　　"Seongjae, are you still upset about your group members? You look dead inside."

　　Junghyun stepped up beside me. "Seriously, Seongjae, why do you look so pissed off? You’re at our place now. Cheer up."

　　At Junghyun’s warm tone, Seongjae forced a stiff, sarcastic smile. "Haha. Right. I’m in no position to complain when I have to jump the second someone snaps their fingers."

　　Seeing the raw irritation in Seongjae’s eyes made my blood boil. "What? Your group members are treating you like an errand boy? What the hell is wrong with them? Seongjae, delete their names from the presentation."

　　How dare they mess with my little brother. I was getting heated, ranting about college freeloaders, but Seongjae just glanced at me and let out a heavy, bone-deep sigh. Looking utterly exhausted, he held out a crinkling plastic bag.

　　"Here. Take it. I bought booze."

　　Before I could grab it, Junghyun reached past me and took the bag, his gentle smile never wavering. "You didn’t have to bring this. We’ve got plenty of alcohol right here."

　　"I’m trying to drink myself into a coma," Seongjae muttered. "I feel like absolute shit, and I doubt your fancy wine is going to cut it."

　　"If you’re trying to drink yourself into a coma, do you really think cheap beer is going to do the trick?" Junghyun countered smoothly. "I’ll pour you some whiskey."

　　"I’m not actually trying to die. But thanks for the offer."

　　"You don’t have to be so polite."

　　Seongjae and Junghyun exchanged polite smiles. They were definitely closer than I thought. Seongjae had complained that Junghyun made him uncomfortable, but maybe he was just being a whiny younger sibling.

　　They really were tight. It made my chest swell with pride to see my best friend and my little brother getting along so well. Peace and harmony—what more could I ask for?