Chapter 5

　　When he returned to the classroom, it was dead silent, even though it was break time. Everyone was holding their breath, walking on eggshells. The moment Ihyun walked in, every head snapped toward him.

　　The room remained completely silent.

　　“Kang Ihyun. Come here.”

　　Sujeong’s voice cut through the silence. Ihyun froze. Slumped comfortably in his chair, Sujeong looked visibly pissed off. Why is he so mad again? Knowing this was no time to let his pride get in the way, Ihyun slowly approached the desk.

　　His gym uniform lay crumpled on Sujeong’s desk. No wonder Junhyuk was wearing his regular uniform. There was no way Junhyuk had taken it off and handed it over willingly.

　　“Whose is this?”

　　Ihyun’s name was embroidered right on the front in huge letters. He had no idea what Sujeong was trying to pull.

　　“Mine.”

　　“Then why was Junhyuk wearing it?”

　　…Is he actually insane? A scoff slipped from Ihyun’s lips.

　　“He asked to borrow it, so I lent it to him.”

　　“Ah. You and Junhyuk must be pretty close.”

　　Ihyun stared at him in disbelief.

　　“Close enough to swap clothes… What’s going on between you two?”

　　Ihyun couldn’t keep up with the conversation. The sheer absurdity of it left him speechless. He turned his head, scanning the wide eyes of the classmates watching them. Am I the crazy one here, or is he? he wanted to ask out loud.

　　“Are you guys dating?”

　　“Stop talking nonsense.”

　　“Then why did you lend Kim Junhyuk your clothes? Don’t tell me you like him.”

　　“Stop it.”

　　“Fuck. Are you a fucking homo or something?”

　　Spouting absolute nonsense, Sujeong backed him into a corner. His low, growling voice was chilling. Ihyun wanted to protest, but Sujeong’s eyes already looked completely unhinged; words wouldn’t get through to him. You’re the one acting like a fucking homo. At Ihyun’s disgusted glare, Sujeong slammed his fist on the desk.

　　“Answer me.”

　　“Answer what? If I’m a homo? If I like Kim Junhyuk?”

　　Sujeong glared at him silently.

　　Ihyun opened his mouth, then closed it. ‘If anything happens to our Sujeong, I won’t let you get away with it.’ He could almost hear Sujeong’s mother’s voice ringing in his ears. Our Sujeong. Our precious child.

　　‘If they tell you to die, at least pretend to drop dead.’ The rest of the class probably knew it, too. Sujeong was the one acting weird. Even though everyone kept quiet, rumors that Sujeong was gay were already spreading in secret.

　　If those rumors ever reached his parents’ ears, it was obvious they would take it out on Ihyun instead of their own son.

　　“Yeah. I’m gay.”

　　“What?”

　　It was better to just take the fall right here. He was already an outcast; adding another rumor to his name wouldn’t make things any worse. Gasps echoed from all corners of the room.

　　Hey, did you hear? Holy shit, he’s gay. That’s wild.

　　“You asked if I like Kim Junhyuk. Yeah. I lent it to him because I like him.”

　　Ihyun let the confession spill out, fueled by pure spite. That’s right, everything you said is true. He affirmed it all. Unlike Ihyun, who stood there calmly, Sujeong was not taking it well.

　　His eyes didn’t turn red, nor did his brow furrow like they usually did when he was angry. Instead, his face hardened into a cold, completely emotionless mask. Danger. Ihyun’s instincts screamed at him.

　　“Say that again.”

　　“I said I’m gay. And I like Kim Junhyuk.”

　　“Say that again.”

　　“Are you deaf? I fucking like Kim Junhyuk.”

　　Sujeong stood up. Ihyun, who had been looking down at him, had to raise his gaze. He had to crane his neck just to meet Sujeong’s eyes.

　　“I’m asking you one last time. You better answer carefully, Ihyun. What did you say?”

　　“You should go to a hospital. What are you going to do if you can’t even remember what you just heard?”

　　Sujeong’s jaw clenched.

　　Ihyun stared back defiantly.

　　Another battle of nerves ensued. Ihyun had nothing left to lose now. What’s he going to do, threaten me with my dad again? Make me dance again?

　　“Whoa, what’s with the mood?”

　　Right on cue, Junhyuk’s group returned to the classroom.

　　“Hey, Kang Ihyun just confessed that he likes you.”

　　“What the…”

　　“What kind of bullshit is that? Fuck!”

　　Belatedly grasping the situation, Junhyuk flew into a rage and stormed over to where the two were facing off.

　　“Kang Ihyun, are you out of your fucking mind?! You crazy bastard!”

　　“Perfect. You can just prove it.”

　　Even the furious Junhyuk froze at Sujeong’s words. Seeing Junhyuk’s reaction, Sujeong seemed to realize Ihyun had just been bluffing, and his terrifying calm returned.

　　“Kiss him.”

　　“Hey… Sujeong… Why are you being like this?”

　　“Ihyun says he likes you. Says he wants to date you. Let’s grant him his wish.”

　　Despite the red, busted skin slathered in ointment, it was obvious Junhyuk’s face was draining of all color.

　　“Hey, Kang Ihyun… Say something, fuck, stop messing around!”

　　“…Fine. Let’s do it.”

　　Why not. Ihyun’s resentment ran deep. If a rumor was going to spread anyway, he wanted it to be as filthy as possible just to smear Sujeong’s family name. Ihyun strode over and stood right in front of Junhyuk.

　　Since they were about the same height, he didn’t even need to lower his head. Junhyuk naturally thrashed and resisted, but Ihyun kept pushing forward even as he was shoved back. As they grappled, their arms tangling together, Ihyun chased after Junhyuk’s retreating face.

　　Just think of it as a light peck, like kissing a puppy. Now that it had come to this, he regretted letting his pride blow things so far out of proportion. I should have just told Sujeong it wasn’t true. I should’ve just swallowed my pride and apologized. But it was too late to back out now.

　　The moment Ihyun squeezed his eyes shut and leaned in, a loud smack rang out. Junhyuk collapsed to the floor.

　　“They say you have to beat homos to turn them back to normal.”

　　That’s what I read on the internet. It’s a mental illness, you know.

　　Sujeong dragged the limp Junhyuk to his feet and began pummeling him like a punching bag. Junhyuk’s friends snapped out of their daze and rushed to pull Sujeong off, but Junhyuk was already unconscious, his eyes rolled back in his head.

　　Even though Sujeong had beaten Junhyuk badly enough to put him in the hospital, the incident was quietly swept under the rug with a financial settlement between the parents.

　　Sujeong walked away completely unpunished. The full details never got out. The school officially declared it a verbal argument that had escalated into a physical fight. Junhyuk transferred schools immediately after being discharged, and the classmates who had witnessed the violence firsthand kept their heads down, terrified to cross either Sujeong or Ihyun.

　　Sujeong’s parents were just satisfied that their own son hadn’t been hurt. They even joked about how surprisingly long he had managed to stay out of trouble at school. After that incident, however, Sujeong’s mother changed her attitude toward Ihyun slightly.

　　“Since you’re right next to him, take good care of him. If anything happens, call me immediately. Oh, do you not have a cell phone? I’ll get you one.”

　　“Still, our Jeong seems to care for you quite a bit.” She smiled, setting down her coffee cup.

　　“Yes, thank you.”

　　Ihyun stood before her with his hands politely folded like a student being punished, while she leisurely enjoyed her tea time on the terrace overlooking the front garden. It was uncomfortable. She was already an intimidating person to be around.

　　“Take this as your allowance, Ihyun. Don’t feel burdened by it. I’ve been meaning to give you something for a while.”

　　He wasn’t thrilled to see the wad of cash she pulled from her pocket. He waved his hands in refusal, but she stubbornly shoved the money into his grasp.

　　“I know you and your father have been through a lot.”

　　“…I should get going. I have homework to do,” Ihyun murmured.

　　“Oh, of course. Study hard.”

　　And pay a little attention to our Sujeong. Alright?

　　“I will.” Ihyun bowed and turned around.

　　The wad of cash in his pocket felt like a heavy stone. Lately, his relationship with Sujeong had been strained. Several days had passed since the incident, and Sujeong hadn’t come to Ihyun’s room once. It was peaceful.

　　Ihyun hoped Sujeong would keep treating him this way from now on. He slept well and ate well. He even felt like he was focusing better on his studies.

　　Ihyun stood in front of Sujeong’s closed door. He hesitated, debating whether to knock, then took a step back. There’s no need to do this right now. Ihyun granted himself a grace period on his own terms.

　　He went into his room, sat at his desk, and opened his workbook. It was his third time re-solving the same problems. His father occasionally gave him an allowance, but in reality, it was just his living expenses.

　　He had to pay for his school lunches, gym uniform, and school supplies all out of that money. He had no complaints. If anything, he was grateful to receive it at all.

　　Ihyun counted the wad of cash from his pocket. One bill, two bills, three bills… She really gave me a lot. Just as the thought crossed his mind, his door swung open with a clatter. Startled, Ihyun quickly shoved the money inside his workbook and slammed it shut.

　　“Ihyun, are you busy?”

　　“Ah, no. You’re home already?”

　　“Just dropped by for a bit. Nothing going on lately, right?”

　　“No.”

　　Actually, there’s a lot going on. Ihyun pretended everything was fine, masking his surprise at his father’s sudden visit. His father stood by the open door, looking at him.

　　“Is something going on with you, Dad?”

　　“Well… No. Never mind. Feels like I just interrupted you.”

　　“You didn’t.”

　　“Study hard.”

　　“I will.”

　　“…And take good care of Jeong. You guys are friends, after all.”

　　“…I will.”

　　“Alright. I’m heading out.”

　　Take care. Ihyun bid a silent farewell to the closed door. So that’s why he came. Ihyun turned back and buried his face in his hands.

　　It felt like everyone around him was cornering him, pressuring him to hurry up and make peace with Sujeong. It drained him of all his energy.

　　KNOCK, KNOCK.

　　“It’s me. Can I come in?”

　　With even his father telling him to fix things, Ihyun had no choice but to act. Though he had agonized for a long time before finally knocking on Sujeong’s door… it didn’t take long for Sujeong to open it.

　　“What.”

　　“Let’s talk.”

　　The door had opened so quickly, almost as if Sujeong had been waiting for him. It made Ihyun wonder if he had been sitting right on the other side this whole time.

　　“…Come in.”

　　Sujeong stepped aside, making room for Ihyun to enter. After what happened last time, it was a space Ihyun never wanted to set foot in again. The room couldn’t even be compared to his own.

　　Unlike Ihyun’s window, which only let in fractured slivers of light, the wide, massive window here seemed to embrace all the sunlight in the world. Like a luxury studio apartment, Sujeong’s room had everything. A TV, a sofa, a large bookshelf, an en-suite bathroom.

　　He heard the door click shut behind him. Ihyun sat on the small sofa and waited. Sujeong leaned against the bookshelf next to the sofa, looking down at him.

　　“Go ahead.”

　　“You… Never mind.”

　　“You’re the one who came. So talk.”

　　Even though he had run countless simulations in his head about what to say, he found himself unable to speak now that he was actually here. Ihyun hadn’t done anything wrong. It was all that bastard’s fault for losing his temper and blowing up. Ihyun met Sujeong’s gaze, his eyes full of resentment.

　　“I’m not gay. I just said that because I was angry.”

　　Sujeong remained silent.

　　“And saying I liked Kim Junhyuk was a lie, too. I actually hated him. Not that I’ll ever see him again anyway, since he transferred.”

　　He was rambling. Sujeong listened to the excuses without a word. Those emotionless eyes made Ihyun tense up.

　　“…Anyway, that’s the truth. So don’t misunderstand.”

　　Sujeong’s previous words snagged in his mind. Fucking homo. Mental illness. Beating them to turn them back to normal. He was terrified that Sujeong might actually hit him, too. Ihyun trailed off, carefully studying Sujeong’s reaction.

　　“Is that all you have to say?”

　　“I think I’ve said everything.”

　　“No, there’s more. Keep going.”

　　Sujeong was demanding something else from him. What more does he want me to say? Ihyun racked his brain, but he felt like he had already laid everything out. He had nothing left to offer. Sujeong stepped forward, looming over him.

　　“You need to apologize first. You’re the one who did wrong.”

　　“What?”

　　“Say you’re sorry.”