Prologue

　　“Quit.”

　　The man sitting across the desk was his superior officer. He had gotten used to that fact by now, and it wasn’t as if he had come here unprepared, but the sheer, jarring coldness of the command still felt like ice water to the face.

　　“Quit the academy.”

　　He delivered the words effortlessly, like a man born to give orders. And perhaps he found it just as natural for people to obey them.

　　But his own fingers and toes turned to ice. A dull ache throbbed deep in his shoulders.

　　“W-why?”

　　Even as he forced the question out, his voice trembling pathetically, the older man didn’t so much as glance his way. He just kept his profile turned, flipping through a stack of documents. His rejection was absolute, leaving no room for argument.

　　It felt like a total rejection. Actually, how was it any different from one?

　　“It’s best if you quit.”

　　“How can you say that? You know how much I wanted to be here.”

　　A bitter wave of defiance rose in his chest. After everything it had taken to get accepted. After everything he was enduring just to stay.

　　“This place isn’t right for you.”

　　Even an outright rejection letter from the academy wouldn’t have hurt this much. The fact that he was the one pushing him away in this moment was more agonizing than anything else.

　　He didn’t want to cry, but his voice was already thick with unshed tears.

　　“I want to sail with you…”

　　The words slipped out like a child’s plea. He was begging. Yet those cold eyes remained fixed on the paperwork, refusing to meet his gaze. As if he wasn’t even worth looking at.

　　“You already have.”

　　“That was…!”

　　“I don’t want you on a ship.”

　　He snapped the file shut. At the dull thud, his stomach dropped.

　　“I have no intention of ever letting you on my ship.”

　　Tossing the folder onto the desk, the older man finally swiveled his chair to face him.

　　“Even so, does your presence here hold any value?”

　　It sounded like he was really asking, What value do you have to me? The implication left him completely speechless.

　　For a second, he thought he could hear the sound of waves crashing. The phantom sensation of massive mangrove roots coiling around his ankles dragged him under. The past he had tried so desperately to bury was still right there, waiting for him. In the end, he forced out the one question he had never wanted to ask.

　　“Am I in your way, hyung?”

　　Answer me.

　　“Am I a disgrace to you, Captain?”

　　His mind flashed back to the day they first met.

　　I have never once regretted saving your life, but I wonder if you regret taking me in. If I’m nothing more than a burden to you now—a detriment, a nuisance, a disgrace.

　　In that deep, striking voice of his, the man finally replied.

　　“You are a hindrance to me, Cadet.”

　　The rejection carved into him, agonizing as a physical wound. The words became a blade, slicing him down to the bone.

　　“Abandon your feelings, Cadet.”

　　He stood up from his seat. This visiting room had been specially arranged for them, a quiet acknowledgment of their private relationship. But the comfortable, intimate atmosphere cultivated within these walls was now utterly meaningless.

　　“That is an order.”

　　Was he ordering him to give up his feelings for him, or his dream of sailing together? He couldn’t even bring himself to ask. He simply sat there, ruthlessly crushed beneath the weight of the command.