Even as a guy myself, I thought Yatta was a lost cause.

　　He’d go up to every female character in the clan and ask the player their real-life gender and age. Then, if they turned out to be a woman between twenty and twenty-three, he’d keep asking them to hop on Discord or exchange contact info.

　　Naturally, his reputation in the clan went straight down the drain. He even tried hitting on Hyejin, and when that didn’t go the way he wanted, he left our clan and joined another one.

　　That was where he started dating a heal Ele named Sweatdrop.

　　—Me: Hey… u remember Sweatdrop?

　　—Hyejin: Hahahaha ofc I do lol why?

　　—Me: Yatta and Sweatdrop just popped into my head lol

　　—Hyejin: Omg

　　—Hyejin: Ngl I was literally just thinking about them too lol

　　Yatta and Sweatdrop were obnoxiously public about their relationship.

　　There was a cash item called a server megaphone that broadcast chat across the entire server. Yatta and Sweatdrop burned through almost thirty of them a day, going on nonstop about how much they loved and appreciated each other, their plans for future children, and every other damn thing.

　　Their romance was so nauseating that whenever one of their megaphones popped up, other players would fire off their own just to push it off-screen.

　　Eventually, though, everyone started pretending they hadn’t seen anything. They weren’t the kind of couple you could reason with, and people got so tired of fighting with them that they gave up and ignored them.

　　—Hyejin: Those two used to spam megaphones all day

　　—Hyejin: Drove me insane fr

　　—Hyejin: Oh shiiit clan master I found this screenshot look lololol

　　Hyejin sent me a screenshot from years ago, back in our old Yeongil days. And there it was: one of Yatta’s megaphone confessions to Sweatdrop.

　　[All][Yatta]: The onely girl I think highly of… thats u Sweatdrop

　　—Hyejin: Lmao oh ma god remember us trying to figure out what he meant back then?

　　—Hyejin: The only girl vs The lonely girl

　　—Me: Lolololol

　　Hyejin had gotten so thoroughly sick of Yatta back then that she went on to send me her entire collection of Yatta’s legendary megaphone messages. I laughed at the screenshots she kept sending, but my mind was already somewhere else. There was a reason that cockroach couple had suddenly popped into my head.

　　Sweatdrop had later turned out to be a netkama.

　　And apparently Sweatdrop had fleeced Yatta so badly that he made posts with titles like [This Is Unfair] on the forum, claiming he’d been scammed out of around $2,000 over six months.

　　Though if you actually looked at the breakdown, it was mostly stuff like giving Sweatdrop an old laptop he was done with and buying a couple of Royal Hair Coupons worth about a buck fifty each.

　　Anyway, Yatta claimed the whole thing had hit him so hard that he quit the game, and after that, he never logged into Arcadia again.

　　That was the part that caught my attention. A revenge plan I’d never considered before suddenly came to me.

　　What if, just what if, that bastard Heejae was actually interested in me? What if I pretended to be a real girl and reeled him in? Milked him for everything I could, then eventually revealed I was a netkama…?

　　Maybe he’d be so humiliated that he’d quit the game and disappear.

　　And how fucking satisfying would that be?

　　Because of Heejae, I’d gone from a successful castle lord to rock bottom and ended up selling my account for next to nothing. Just thinking about it still made me grind my teeth. Somehow, I wanted Heejae to feel just as screwed over and miserable as I’d felt back then.

　　Hell, even if he didn’t quit the game, if I could at least get a line added to his Wikipedia page saying:

　　[Got tricked into dating a Netkama]

　　…wouldn’t that be a pretty decent revenge?

　　The problem was whether that bastard was actually interested in Sesam…

　　But Hyejin had basically been joking, so I couldn’t jump to conclusions. Still, rather than quitting the game like this, I figured it couldn’t hurt to test the waters on the off chance it was true.

　　Decision made, I sat down at my computer. Then, with my heart pounding, I logged into Arcadia.

　　[Welcome to Arcadia, a world full of adventure.]

　　When the game finished loading, my character was standing all alone in the Bloody Rain lobby. I’d rage-quit after losing to Heejae, so apparently the game had left me near the arena.

　　“So… I didn’t get kicked from the clan.”

　　I’d wondered if they might have thrown me out, but Tumble Rumble was still displayed above my character’s head.

　　Then, almost as if they’d been waiting for me, messages flooded the clan chat from the same trio who’d recruited me in the first place.

　　[Hoohaa]: Omg

　　[Hoohaa]: Its Sesam!!!

　　[Hoohaa]: Sesam just wait okay? Don’t leave T_T

　　[Respect]: Woah hello

　　[Respect]: Sesam, please wait just one minute okay??

　　[Lemonade]: sesam… calm down…

　　They were probably worried I’d gotten pissed after losing to Heejae and was about to leave the clan. But I planned to see how Heejae reacted before deciding what to do next, so I stayed put.

　　[Heejae has logged in.]

　　I didn’t have to wait long before the notification appeared. Maybe he’d told the clan members to let him know if I showed up.

　　[Heejae]: wheres sesam

　　My fist clenched at the sheer rudeness of his clipped message, but on the other hand, it confirmed that he was still plenty interested in me.

　　That bastard Heejae showed up at the Bloody Rain arena in no time. I watched him loiter right in front of me and went over my revenge plan.

　　Suck it up, act friendly, flirt with him like we’re dating, then when he confesses, blindside him with the fact that I’m a guy? In theory, it wasn’t a bad plan…

　　The problem was whether I could actually control my temper long enough to hang out with Shin Heejae. Just looking at him standing there made me want to stab him.

　　[Heejae]: Sesam Noona

　　[Heejae]: o_o

　　[Heejae]: even if u got totally wrecked u cant just disappear like that

　　[Heejae]: i was worried u jumped off a cliff or something o.o

　　The bastard seemed a hell of a lot more interested in pissing me off than in romance or anything like that. More than anything, I honestly wasn’t sure I could stomach his smug attitude and try to reel him in when my fist had been trembling just seconds ago…

　　[Sesam]: ya

　　Still, I barely managed to hold my temper and answer.

　　Maybe this was where the real rematch began. While the bastard had no idea who I really was, this was my best chance to screw him over.

　　With no clue what I was thinking, Shin Heejae made his character smirk and continued typing.

　　[Heejae]: soo Noona we’re dungeon partners starting today right o.o?

　　[Sesam]: ya

　　[Heejae]: but ur lvl is way too low o.o…

　　[Heejae]: i think ill have to carry u for like a week o_o lol

　　[Sesam]: ya

　　[Heejae]: ur super grateful right o.o?

　　I ignored that last bit and sent Heejae a party invite instead. He accepted without complaint, but apparently that didn’t mean he was going to stop talking shit.

　　[Heejae]: Noona r u still sulking?

　　[Sesam]: no

　　[Heejae]: then why are ur replies so salty o_o?

　　[Heejae]: mature ppl know how to take a loss Noona o.o

　　I finally snapped.

　　[Sesam]: Shut up!

　　[Sesam]: Cant you see Im trying my best not to murder u? Stop running your f**king mouth

　　The second I hit Enter, I realized I’d screwed up. But instead of getting offended by my outburst, Shin Heejae just started laughing, the fucker.

　　[Heejae]: ha

　　[Heejae]: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

　　[Heejae]: levels rule everything in games tho o.o…

　　[Heejae]: if that pisses u off guess u better lvl up fast huh o_o?

　　And then he had to tack on that load of bullshit. He was basically a cure for low blood pressure.

　　I ground my teeth and muttered under my breath, “You piece of shit! If you hadn’t made me quit the game…!”

　　Sure, Heejae had absolutely stomped me, but my old main had still been a higher level than him. That made his little comment sting even harder.

　　The guy had barged into my happy life and ruined everything. Who the hell was he to say something like that?

　　Fuming, I stared at the chat window where Shin Heejae was still snickering and clenched my fist.

　　“No matter what it takes… I’m going to make you quit this game.”